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How I Learned to Love My Hater

mindset Mar 04, 2020

Recently I received a pretty harsh comment on my YouTube channel.  It’s interesting because, years ago, the reason why it took me so long to start a YouTube channel was because I worried about the negative comments .  Always a people pleaser, I was nervous about people not liking me. I was worried I wasn’t good enough.  

You name it, I was worried about it.

Not sure how I did it, but I started anyway.  I think my mission was much bigger than the fear.

I can remember all the negative comments throughout the past three years.  I can actually repeat them word for word. It’s amazing how the negative things can stick so closely to us, yet the positive?  They come and go…

Here’s the thing, the reason I’m writing about this particular comment from this week is because...are you ready????...it didn’t bother me!  I read the comment and quite honestly, was taken back by my inner dialog. I didn’t go down the rabbit hole of negativity. Instead, I SENT THIS PERSON LOVE!!!  WHHHAAAAAT?

Yes, it’s true!  This unwavering feeling of love came over me and I sent it to her!  I thought, “she needs it.”

When we think about other people and what they think of us, really, what they think of us has very little to do with what we are.  It has mostly to do with the habits of thought that they have developed and how they feel about themselves. It has more to do with them as thinkers than it does with us as the subject of their thought. 

It’s about our habit of thought.  The way we think. How we talk to ourselves.  How we talk about ourselves to others. Who we believe we are.  Who we actually are at a deep subconscious level. Our thoughts are a reflection on how we see ourselves; our identity.

In the beginning, I started my business and did the things.  I filmed the videos, I wrote the blog, I sent the emails...I did the things.  Then I realized, it’s NOT about the things. I was doing these things with the underlying fear of someone calling me out.  Telling me I’m not good enough. That I was an imposter. That I was a FAKE.  

Fast forward three years and here I am sending love to my hater.  LOVE! And truly meaning it and feeling it.  

I know now that there’s NO WAY my business can be successful unless I feel it internally first.  I need to feel successful before I can ever see it externally. We create our reality. I’ve known that for years, I’ve read enough books and studied enough teachers.  But we can know things for years. It’s not until we live it, breathe it, and EXPERIENCE it that we REALLY know it.

I mean, I know what a broken bone is.  But I’ve never had one. So I can’t ever REALLY know what a broken bone is because I’ve never experienced it.  I think that’s what makes the best teachers. Those who have gone through and then take you on a journey to see if for yourself. The compassion, the truth, the detail, the knowing come through the teaching.   The, “YOU GET ME!” and the connection you feel towards them allows you to not feel alone and release resistance and allow for the ahas faster.

Worrying about what others think, taking action out of fear, reacting to circumstances will never get us to where we need to go. 

A successful business is about - helping others, serving, connecting, relating, being.  Isn’t that interesting? A successful business is the same as a successful life. How I show up in my business is how I show up in my life.  How I show up in my business is how I show up for my family, my friends, annnnnnnnnd my enemies. (I use that term loosely - I don’t have enemies because we are all more connected in harmony to each other than we are in disharmony.) 

We are all so much more connected than we are disconnected.  

I’m a teacher because I’ve lived it..  I’ve been fifty pounds more than I’m now, I’ve been twenty pounds less than I am now, I’ve eaten a whole chocolate cake in one sitting, I’ve punished myself by not eating and over exercising,  I’ve felt not good enough on a daily basis, I’ve compared myself to others and not done something because I felt not worth it, I’ve not gotten out of bed because the depression was too much, I’ve felt the fear and not done what I wanted to do. 

I’ve been there. I get it.  That’s why I will NEVER judge you.  I will NEVER tell you you’re doing it wrong.   However, I will support you. I will cheer you on every minute step of the way.  I will be there for you. I’m in it with you.  

The positivity and love I feel for life has been a journey.  I feel it so deeply because I appreciate it. I was on the other side for too long.  I’m on this side to stay.

Along the journey, Pilates helped me find a deeper connection to myself. 

If you like Pilates or want to try it, come join The Core Club!  We don’t judge. We GET IT! And we’re an awesome group if I do say so myself.  Your first two weeks are FREE!


This week's Workout Wednesday is a full body routine that I actually do almost every day.  Want to do it with me?  Come join me and press play!

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